If I asked you to close your eyes and imagine God, what comes to mind?
No matter how I try, God is always Michaelagelo's God. White, flowing hair. Is he white? Or slightly tan? I'm not sure. His face is stern. His hair wind blown. He's reaching but is it far enough?
I shake my head no. NO. That is not God, Jenn. Keep thinking.
Then a vague throne appears in my imagination. I can't see God because there's so much going on around Him. (always a Him in my mind no matter what). I see people worshipping. His face still stern but characteristics indistinct. I know He's seated. Watching over us, distant but there.
Of course I know in my mind He (always a He) loves me. It's a distant love.e Basically a love that somehow views me as too dirty to be near so in order to remedy that He had his own son killed as a blood sacrifice to satisfy some sort of payment.
So much separation. So much blood. So much ... ?
God is Holy. God is Mighty. God is Perfect. God is Wise. God is Omnipotent. God is Omnipresent. God is Righteous. God is Sovereign.
But who is God really? And why do I feel so utterly familiar with HIM and yet so utterly distant?
How do you picture God? Tomorrow I'll share some more about who I'm seeing God as these days and how it's so vastly different than how I saw HIM in the past.
That is beautiful Gaelvuking. Have you always viewed God as female?
Amazing Mary Ann.
For me, G-d is not a He, it’s a SHE. Large, dark skinned, flowing loooong hair, curvy, hands frequently on Her hips, smiling broadly, often has arms outstretched to invite me in. Actually, EVERYONE in close to Her. For years, I felt Her hand on my back with fingers splayed, & her voice in my ear, saying, “ Get out!” Now that I am, I no longer hear that or feel that hand on my back. I feel Her hand in mine when I pray, Her arms around me when I need Her near. She is always with me.
I see God seated on a big throne, with choirs of angels all around. He (always a male) has an enormous throne room, with multitudes standing on either side of the extremely long hallway leading to the throne. At the end of this hallway are HUGE doors, of which I & others stand on the other side. When I want to approach His throne, I am timid about turning the doorknob, but confidently know I have permission to do so at any time. So, I go into this huge throne room, walk up to His throne & crawl up on His lap, telling Him what is on my heart. He already knows, but I need to verbalize it to…
I have wrestled with this my whole life- even as a child. I will never fully understand and I’m finally ok with that. Love the best you can and the rest is the rest.